A Series of Unfortunate Lives
by Aisu137
Summary: I've been beaten, I've been bruised, I've been locked inside a cell, the more you kick me when I'm down the more it truly helps.
1. Geometry, Hunt, Spiders

**Disclaimer. **

**I own none of the characters mentioned in the following text, nor claim to. Though it would be pretty cool, kinda. Okay, not really. Anyway, I own none of this.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>Chapter 1<p>

Annabeth Chase, who is arguably the unluckiest demigods alive. First she gets thrown into the whole mess with Kronos and the evil-turned-good Luke. Then she gets "blessed" by Aphrodite promising an interesting love life, which means you've got two of three different love triangles. For Annabeth it's Percy, the idiotic son of Poseidon, or Luke, the brave, handsome, son of Hermes. Luckily, it all works out in the end, Percy and Annabeth get together, at the expense of half a city, a couple dead friends, five years, and ten 'What-if" moments.

Of course, then, just as the world was finally settling down, Mother Earth, Gaea herself, decides to wake. Yippee! So Percy with his lopsided grin and annoying idiocy, vanishes, kidnapped by Hera. That would be and all, if he did not vanish for eight months. And Annabeth stuck with the son of Jupiter, who by the way, despite being related to Thalia, was not all that 'bad-ass'.

Finally arriving in New Rome, meeting Percy, getting accused of a city being blow-up, nearly dying at least forty or fifty times, then plunging into the depths of Tartarus, Annabeth could really use a quiet moment.

But wait! There's more! She had to run away from evil little spiders, that nursery rhyme about the Itsy Bitsy Spider? Yeah, that's a lie. The Itsy Bitsy spider did not climb up a waterspout; it climbed up the children of Athena's beds, and ruined their lives. Over, and over, and over again. Annabeth Chase was not spared. Not one bit. She was bit by spiders, trapped by their silky webs, and called a little kid who demanded attention by her stepmother.

Finally sick of it, she ran away. She got lost hundreds of times, nearly died, and really needed a change of clothes before meeting the daughter of Zeus and the son of Hermes. Annabeth, being a child of Athena, craved something permanent. Something to call family. She thought being with the other children of the gods would be that permanent something. Except that didn't turn out so well. Thalia got turned into a tree, a nice tree, if it bothers you. And Luke got turned, or rather agreed to get turned into a horrible person who would host the soul of the gods' mortal enemy.

Later Thalia became a human again, but then decided boys were stupid and ran off to join the hunter. Of course, after Tartarus, Luke, Percy's disappearance, she's really starting to wonder if boys are the cause of all problems in the universe. Maybe she should've joined the Hunt with Thalia when she had the chance. Annabeth was pretty sure that no Hunter of Artemis had ever fallen into Tartarus or been ordered to find Athena's beloved statue, or been forced to fight the mother of all arachnids.

Suddenly an explosion rocked the walls of Annabeth's room abroad the Argo II.

Yep, definitely should've joined the Hunt.

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><p><strong>Hey everyone, how's it going! Anyway, this is just something that I was thinking about posting for some time now. I've been thinking, in anticipation for the next book, of all the unfortunate things that the characters of both the Heroes of Olympus and Percy Jackson series have gone through. This is the first time I've actually put them to paper, or rather Microsoft Word. <strong>

**Review what you think, I'm always open to critiques and suggestions, and if anyone is interested I'd love a beta for this story. Especially if anyone likes it and wants me to continue. **


	2. Island of Misfit Toys

**I got a decent response from the first chapter, let me know what you think. Disclaimers: I don't know any part of this. I claim no ownership either. **

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><p>Chapter 2<p>

Perseus Jackson, the unluckiest man alive. Let's start from day one. The only memory of his father he has is a happy golden glow. That doesn't exactly key in any specific at a police station. Instead he gets a guy who really needs to get better cologne and learn how to brush his teeth, definitely not the golden glow.

He goes to crappy boarding schools to please him mom when his math teacher almost kills him. I mean, sure it wasn't his math teacher wasn't very nice or a very good teacher, and Percy wasn't exactly the best student in history of students, but trying to kill him? That goes over the line!

He gets put into the world of the Olympians, the Greek gods, Morpheus' evil clutches, and history's most complicated love life. Percy has about fifteen different love triangles. Poor him. You have Annabeth (the daughter of an Ancient Greek goddess who hates his father), Reyna (when she doesn't want to kill him), Rachel (the mystical mortal), Calypso (every man's dream girl), Nico (everyone's little brother), thousands of nymphs, and even a few unobtainable goddesses. Now, unfortunately for Percy, half of these people are currently stuck in an eternal maiden life, stuck on an online for eternity, or Roman. Then again, there was that promised "interesting" love life.

I suppose these love triangles are fitting as Percy Jackson has saved the world a few times. There was Zeus' egotistic rage about his lightning bolt, that whole problem with Kronos, and I guess Artemis going missing was a bit of a mess. Now it's the giants. Not your usual giants. Normally giants are really friendly, great at attacking defenses in Clash of Clans, but these giants are not friendly. They are the unholy spawn of Hell and Earth it self. Not a pretty combo if I do say so myself!

Now, if you count all the times the world could have been, and honestly probably should've been, obliterated, think about how many times this kid has gotten into trouble. When Zeus lost his lightning bolt, Poseidon thought it would be wonderful to reveal he has a son, who was in New York at the time of the theft. Now Percy has Hades and Zeus to worry about, something about an unbreakable oath not to have any more kids. So Percy gets to run across the country looking for a bolt of lightning. Personally, I'd just look up in the sky and say, "Hey look, there's lightning, that's definitely your bolt!" Naturally that wouldn't work and we'd all be doomed, but no matter no matter, all part of the fun, right? Eventually he runs into Ares, God of War, Violence, bad attitudes, and pigs. He wins? I guess. And they call him Seaweed Brain. And because no one gets a happy ending, his first friend at camp, Luke Castellan, betrays Percy. That's gotta be a sucky month!

Next, Luke being the newly acclaimed bad guy, decides to poison his best friend. It's not actually his best friend, just the tree she was turned into after she died to save him and Annabeth. It's for a good cause though, so I guess Luke doesn't consider it morally wrong, and he's totally doing the same thing the very gods he hates do on a nightly basis. After Luke nearly kills his best friend turned pine tree, Percy goes on a wild quest to find the Golden Fleece, the one thing that might save the beloved daughter of the pine trees. He finds the Fleece being swallowed by giant ancient sea monsters, blown up by the Daughter of Ares, and turned into a very handsome guinea pig.

The Golden Fleece did it's work too well, and Percy ended up being stuck with the Daughter of Zeus/Pine Trees, Thalia Grace. Who ended up blasting him into a giant river and who also ended him being attacked by the Hunters of Artemis. At least Percy met a really hot girl, Zoe Nightshade, but before they could kindle their love, she died. And Thalia, joined the Hunters. At least he got Annabeth back!

Year 4, the mystical creepy Labyrinth. Home of three chested people, sacred cows, angry ghosts, vengeful ghosts, the Son of Gaea and Poseidon, annoying Titans, a lot of Happy Meals, and the world's most nerdy computer known to demigods. Then there's Calypso, Percy's biggest "What if". At least he didn't die, and he scored a kiss from Annabeth and Calypso! Then there was that whole battle thing, where he almost died again. Oh well, he lived. For now…

Year 5, the dreaded prophecy. At least we all learned why Apollo is such a nice guy; he feels bad that his prophecies depict horrible fates. Well Luke died, Ethan died, Hades became somewhat nice, Percy almost got caught on fire by Athena, talked with a very 'down' Hermes, and ended up with a kiss and a girlfriend.

Okay, three months of happiness, insane quests (totally Hermes' fault by the way), he gets kidnapped. I mean sure, I guess he offended Hera, but I mean, to get kidnapped goes a little bit too far. Then again, she is married to Zeus, god of theater. I guess it rubbed off on her, poor Hera. I feel almost bad, almost.

Percy wakes up at the Wolf House, surrounded by snarling, probably carnivorous wolves, and gets sent on a road trip with the words "Go South" or something stupid like that. No map, no compass, just go south. Go find the camp, go find your girlfriend. Have fun. Try not to die though, thanks!

Percy, who loses his memory too, gets to go to a quest to Alaska with a twice-dead daughter of Pluto, and a son of Mars with intestinal problem. Wait a second he lost his memories too? Hera took it too far!

After blowing up New Rome, after finally regaining his memories Percy gets to go on a quest with a son of Jupiter, daughter of Aphrodite, son of Hephaestus, daughter of Athena, son of Mars, and daughter of Pluto, to save the world. AGAIN! As if he hadn't done that already done that a couple times.

By this point in time, Percy is seriously reconsidering taking immortality to get out of this quest crap.

After being chased by tar monsters, meeting and fighting weird grain spirits, and fighting two giants, Percy has officially decided. He definitely should have taken Calypso's offer.

Or of course, he could always fall into Tartarus, you know, that's the same thing, right?

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><p><strong>God, I feel like this chapter is terrible. I got really rushed at the bottom of this one. Sorry Percy. <strong>

**Anyway, I saw someone wanted to beta, and I'd love you to, PM me. Let me know what everyone thinks. And yes, again I know I rushed a bit.**


	3. Wolves, Vamps, Humans

**I'm here doing the disclaimer, which I should do in a separate chapter at the beginning so I don't have to remember to do this every time I go to post a chapter. **

**Anyway! This is the disclaimer, I do not, nor claim to, own any part of Percy Jackson series or the Heroes of Olympus series. All credits go to Rick Riodan. **

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><p>Chapter 3<p>

Hazel Levesque, the other daughter of Hades/Pluto that has died or come out of a hotel within the last 5 years. Pluto has crappy powers. Nico, son of Hades, controls the dead, but never actually gets the dead people he wants to talk to. It took him a year or something to talk to Bianca, but until then, he had to deal with Minos, Mr. Revenge. Hazel gets rocks. That curse people. But she can't give to her enemies because let's be honest, if someone hates you and vice versa, you're not going to accept a gift from the person you hate. It just won't happen. I feel bad for the person Hazel's going to marry; she can't give him a ring, unless it's plastic. On the bright side, you can be rich for a little while. If you want.

Basically, Hazel's been in the "alive" for about a month, I wonder if she'll beat how long Bianca di Angelo was alive. I mean, when they were taken out of the Underworld and Lotus Casino, respectively, they were around the same age, right? Hazel was born in 1928, but died in 1942, making her 14. Bianca was born during World War II, but was trapped in the Lotus Casino for a couple years (haha try 70). This makes Bianca dead at 14. Nico is also 14, though I'm not sure why he's crushing on Percy Jackson still… Anyway! It seems that all the children of Hades/Pluto have problems at age 14. Bianca died, Hazel has a boyfriend who she's afraid to curse with rocks, and there's that problem with Sammy and Leo that she still hasn't quite worked out yet. Nico, well, he love life is tragic too. His crush/mortal enemy/best friend fell into Tartarus to save his friend/enemy. 14 is a really bad year for Children of the Underworld.

But let's get back to Hazel's terrible relationships. Sorry Hazel, they're terrible. Let's go all the way back to the 40s'. Sammy. Hazel's big 'if only' moment. If only my mother wasn't a raving lunatic who served Gaea. If only I admitted my feelings and asked Sammy out. If only I had drawn a better picture maybe my father would whisk me away. If only I didn't magically summon rare, dangerous, cursed gems. Etcetera etcetera. Of course, it wouldn't Hazel's 'if only' moment if there wasn't some tragic event. Tragic event time! Gaea brainwashed one Marie Levesque into serving her. Basically ruined her relationships with everyone, because no one, let's be honest, wants really handsome gods that want to build you a beautiful palace, make you eternally beautiful and rich, around. Who would want that?! That's absurd! Moving to Alaska to raise the world's most dangerous known being sounds like a much better idea. Let's do that. Go to a place where this all-powerful god has no power and no influence and then get sucked into doing horrible things that basically ruin your entire chance for the Elysium and the Fields of Asphodel. Besides, the Fields of Punishment sound like much more fun. While we're at the whole raising the world's most powerful, evil, cranky goddess, let's just add that Hazel dies during this process. Totally not her mother's fault though.

Now Hazel's in 2013, thanks to her older/same age/timelines-suck brother, Nico. She's met Frank, the Japanese sumo wrestler from Canada, whose family is actually Chinese. Frank here occasionally spends his time as elephants, dolphins, giant koi fish, an eagle, and most of the time as a dragon. Wait, does that mean that Hazel is in love with a fish? It's like the Little Mermaid! Anyway, she goes on a life-changing quest with the giant panda-human with lactose intolerance and a stick that doesn't do anything, and it doesn't even look cool! Oh and some guy named Percy Jackson son of someone. Wait scratch that. An amnesic guy named Percy Jackson. Who someone how knows Reyna. Something about destroying a home. Eh I didn't really follow it. All I know is that Hazel is on a quest with a guy who forgets his name and what his girlfriend looks like (are we sure she isn't imaginary?), and someone who everyone tries to set up as a couple. This could not possibly be more awkward. Now, let's through in a Spartan skeleton, a dead grandmother (my condolences), Cupid or Death (doesn't matter they're practically the same guy), relived her past, an got insulted by a guy wearing a bath robe with pink slippers (not her proudest moment). In the end, she wins, hooks up with Frank. And lives- well no, she doesn't. She gets to meet the stunt double of the dead guy who she still kind of has a crush on. Maybe she should've stayed in the Underworld. Or had Nico have the judges re-judge Hazel, or for Zeus' sake, just move her to Elysium! Not come back to life, bad idea. Definitely a bad idea. Life, bad. Death, good.

Finally, there's Leo Valdez. The comical relief. The fire guy. The guy who likes blowing up cities and generally pissing everyone off through humor. Yeah, not quite Hazel's type. But no matter no matter, she'll figure it out. Let's be honest though, this love triangle is Aphrodite's biggest fail. Hazel creates cursed metal. Leo likes making things with metal. Making things with cursed metal, didn't Leo already kill his mother? So now you're saying Leo is a follower of one of these mean gods who likes killing people? Huh, cool. Poor Leo. Well, turns out Hazel doesn't get to magically time travel to when Nico takes her to the world of living. Nope, she gets to meet Leo, who's basically created a Bella-Edward-Jacob situation. Bella is Hazel, but with emotion. Edward is Frank. Vampires can run fast, Frank can turn into something that runs quickly. Jacob is Leo, both there solely to create drama in an existing relationship. In the end, Leo meets his a girl who he can actually be with without screwing up the whole relationship thing. Calypso. There's a but though. Leo, also signed himself up to be an eternal virgin and absolutely screwed when he swore on the Styx to get Calypso released. So, Leo's probably going to end up following Hazel around again and screwing up their relationship. At this rate, Hazel is still re-considering using time travel to get back to being dead. You know,

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><p>Pulling Hazel from her thoughts, Leo's voice came through the speakers, "Ladies and gentlemen, we have reached the borders of Greece, and if anyone wants to go sight seeing before we go defeat Mother Earth, please let me know now! Just kidding guys, we're sailing to our deaths, bye!"<p>

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><p><strong>Well this is my third installment of "The Series of Unfortunate Lives". I think I did a better job on this chapter than I did on the previous ones. I don't know why. I rushed Percy, which I will go back and fix. I'll post a little author's note down here telling you to go reread that chapter once I've fixed it. Another good reason to read author's notes. <strong>

**I'd also like to take the time to thank Innoc3ntKitt3n for your suggestion, I hope you'll be satisfied about how I did Hazel's life. And I apologize if you're not fond of having books mix (Twilight series) with Percy Jackson's stuff, but I was just reminded of it. Sorry if that offends you. **

**I guess that's to all my readers, if you don't like what I did in this chapter, let me know! I'll try to avoid it in the future. Anyway, rate and review this, and tell who I should write about next! Also I think this will be my longest chapter of this book.**


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